“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison
What it really means: That shit literally means ONE. MORE. REP. Get your goddamn ass off the floor and start doing some more reps! I know it hurts, I know you’re wheezing like your lungs just collapsed, I know your thighs are fucked, but goddamn it man, never ever allow yourself to do a bro-rep! You know what they say, “When the going gets tough, the tough get lifting.”
“Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.” – Arnold Glasgow
What it really means: You heard da man, success is fuckin’ simple. Get it together. Master your form and skills, and you’ll get your shit right as well. Learn the fundamentals of the game, never compromise form over reps, try to perfect your timing when you do snatches, and you’ll be pretty fuckin’ dope in no time.
Oh, and speaking of “do what’s right,” never do some fuckery like skip reps or shaving a few seconds off your time. That shit not only dishonors the sport, but also makes you a pussy.
“Poverty was the greatest motivating factor in my life.” – Jimmy Dean
What it really means: A lack of GAINS was the greatest motivating factor in my life! Not having enough swole in my body was the greatest motivating factor in my life! You might not have been born blessed with a jacked physique or the godlike stats of Almighty Rich Froning, but that shit ain’t stopping you.
Make physical poverty your bitch. Show that bastard that you’re not taking this lying down! Do not let your circumstance dictate your swag meter. Got scrawny arms? Chicken legs? OH HELL NO! Get your big fat booty over to the box and pump the shit out of your gains deficiency. RX that shit like a fuckin’ boss!
“The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been.” – Henry Kissinger
What it really means: Coaches, if your damn peeps don’t know how to do a pull-up, or a burpee, or a handstand, or even a squat. Do not call the SQWAT Team just yet. CALM. YOUR. TITTIES. Just keep doing what you do. Take them to school. Teach them the basics, the right movements, the Mamba mentality. And for fuck’s sake, do not ride ‘em ‘til they barf their fuckin’ lunch. That’s bad coaching, ya’ll.
With enough leadership shit, your peeps will be badasses in no time. One day when your students walk in for a WOD, you’ll be all like, “Mama, there goes that man!”
“Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back.” – Babe Ruth
What it really means: Oh you got a DNF? BOO. FUCKIN’. HOO. Get your punk ass back out there! You got your ass handed to you by that barbell today. That’s ok, failure is legit. But you better be out for some sweet revenge after you recuperate. Show that bar who’s boss! Get a good lawyer, cause you’re gonna murder this WOD! Do not let the fear of finishing dead last or not finishing at all hold you back. Unleash the beast within!