Grow A Beard. It Will Turn You Into A Stronger And Better Crossfit Athlete.

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At the 2014 CrossFit Games, the top three podium finishers, had beards – or at least a 5’oclock shadow. These men were Rich Froning, Matthew Frasier, and Jason Khalipa. CrossFit’s greatest beard, Lucas Parker, has topped the Canada West Regionals 3 out of the last 4 years. Clearly, their gorgeous beards have something to do with their success.

Here are some other good reasons to grow a beard:

  1. According to scientists, cavemen grew their beards for 3 reasons: warmth, intimidation, and protection from punches to the face. They say that only men with beards can survive a fight with a wild animal, thanks to the protection it provides.
  2. Ancient civilizations regarded beards as a sign of honor. In ancient Turkey and India, men with long beards were seen as wise and dignified. Meanwhile, Otto the Great, emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, swore by his beard when saying anything serious.
  3. No one picks a fight with a bearded man. In the Middle Ages, touching another man’s beard was considered offensive and grounds for a duel. The same rules still apply today.
  4. In a study about facial hair, women found bearded men 2/3rds less attractive than their clean-shaven counterparts. Probably because women couldn’t handle the overflowing manliness emanating from the facial hair.
  5. 98% of the Forbes 100 richest men are clean-shaven. But 98% of the world’s lumberjacks, warriors, and bad boys have beards. Obviously, these billionaires are jelly because they can’t grow a beard.
  6. Stroking your beard while having deep thoughts increases cognitive ability and concentration.
  7. Men of action have beards: Tom Selleck, Leonidas, Hulk Hogan, Obi Wan Kenobi. Men of great intellect also have beards: Confucius, Aristotle, Einstein, Gandalf.
  8. Also, Jesus has a beard. Literally, CROSSfit.
  9. In a study by the University of Southern Queensland, beards block 90 to 95 percent of UV rays, slowing the aging process and reducing skin cancer. Beards not only make you manlier, they make you healthier as well!
  10. Growing a beard produces, like 100 times more testosterone in your body. The more testosterone flowing through your veins, the higher chance of you hitting your PRs. Ok I made that up, but it’s highly plausible!
  11. The longer the beard, the longer the life span. Just ask Santa Claus, he’s been around forever.
  12. The ultimate workout beast mode: a lengthy beard, plus taking your shirt off.

No Shave November is near, get ready to grow your beards.